Recollection

When I was in secondary school, I was a chubby, bespectacled nerd. In sec 3 when I became the floorball goalie, I graduated to chubby, bespectacled jock with lumpy mash potato for brains (Biology teacher: "Can anyone tell me what a cell is?" Me: "It starts with c, ends with l and rhymes with bell. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!"). In sec 1 and 2, I longed to be accepted. In sec 3 and 4, I struggled with falling in love for the first time and backstabbing friends (fiends?). Those years taught me a lot about people and how imperfect everyone can be.

When I was in JC, for some weird reason I forgot about, I decided to experiment with modelling. I lost a ton of weight, jogged 5km twice a week and lived on one granola bar a day. I quit when Zach asked me to. JC was almost as vicious as secondary school, except that you weren't allowed to be retarded. Everyone was practically anal retentive 24/7. Goes without saying that 2006 was not my favourite year.

Then came 2007. I had some short stints in the working world, all enjoyable experiences, and I started school. I still remember how I felt on the first day of school. I told myself, "ok, here's a chance for a new start. Drop your ice queen act, and make as many friends as you can." And with God's grace, I made a truckload of friends from everywhere (I also made some enemies, but hey, you win some, you lose some).

Hugeass confession time: when I was 14, I prayed to God and asked Him to make me popular. There you go. Stupid little teenager wanting to be in the in crowd so badly that I would've eaten my own fist to be in 'that clique'. Four years later, He granted me my prayer.

But in the process, I also learned something: popular kids have no souls. Oh sure, we talk to less popular people from time to time, but when push came to shove, I had no problems ripping on the little guys. They never ever did anything to me, and here I was, making fun of their mental stability and physical appearance. I actually felt relieved when I found out that one of them was talking behind my back. I told my older brother I didn't have the balls to deal with the cattyness that came with being an It girl, and I think he did genuinely pity my predicament.

Maybe, He put me here and gave me all my friends for a reason. Maybe the learning never stops. There just might be something I was planned to do, given my position.