Twilight

You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together

I'm nice to you, I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby

You're wonderful, when it's beautiful
But I'm already somebody's baby
And if I went with you I'd disappoint you too
Well, I'm already somebody's baby
Already somebody's baby

My Life is Rhapsody in Blue on Loop

George Gershwin thought of the concept of Rhapsody in Blue on a subway. Talk about urban inspiration. I wish he didn't die so young.
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Is it too late to say, "I should've taken lit"?

I kinda envy Miyo cos well, she's on her way to living my dream. If I was good enough to stay in JC, I would've done literature all the way. Sure, I hate learning the difference between alliteration and assonance, but I think literature is the key to understanding the human condition and what people do to each other. There's truth and meaning in every little sentence crafted by people.

Law on the other hand, is a fucked up discipline which exposes the ugly side of society, and ultimately shows that reform and improvement is invariably stymied by practicality. The widow can't sue because she doesn't have enough money to push for a continuance. The CEO pushes a little sexual harassment suit aside with a little piggy bank for rainy days. What a total farce.

The law is not justice. At best it shows man's total inability to live amicably with one another, simply relying on this flawed mechanism to settle disputes and give satisfaction. At worst it's the muscling out of the little man by the behemoth of the masses disguised as democracy. It sickens me that the reason I'm even pursuing such a course is because of the career prospects. I am selling out so I can buy an extra pair of pumps. WTF man.

I'm pretty sure there are lawyers out there who fight for what's right and give voices to those who otherwise don't have one, but let's not kid ourselves. We're only doing this because we can. If we really did care about people, we'd be brain surgeons or cancer researchers. At least they are clearly carrying out a meaningful existence (except for abortionists, who are beyond the scope of this post).

But then again, I was hoping to become the next JD Salinger by taking literature. He definitely wouldn't have earned a dime in Singapore.

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Yesterday when I raised the subject of getting a new phone, my dad (again) retorted, "Don't spend money unnecessarily!"

Me: (to my younger brother) This is why I don't wanna join the civil service.

Dad: I'm only telling you this because you're not working yet.

Me: And when I do start working, a pedophile will pay for your retirement. I'll be a defence lawyer. Another thing: when I start earning my own money, can I buy a Vespa?

Dad: No, I'd rather you'd be a prosecutor. And never ever get a motorbike. Wanna see some pictures of motorcycle accidents? (He starts googling)

Me: Uh, I'll pass.

Dad: Isaac, come see some pictures of dead motorists!

Bro: Not now, I'm eating!

April Shopping List

1. Boots
2. Cashmere Sweater
3. Ballet Flats
4. Custom Velvet off shoulder top
5. Sanity
6. Confidence Restoration
7. Peace of Mind
8. Hopefully, a T mobile sidekick that works in Singapore

A Pain Like No Other

I was washing my face just now, and I feebly tried to put on my glasses.

And then, the right side of the frame went right into my eye.

Ow, ow, dammit, ow.

A Very Meaningful Relationship

She saw the world in its material splendor
While he stayed at home and noted dates on the calendar
The distance apart made them both shiver
Yet was melted with each carnal embrace and such vigor

She wasn't his only, and likewise for him
Substitutes for both of them could be found on a whim
Plucking out one eye, concealed in fog shrouds
The Clintons and Kennedys of the world would be proud.

Their friends came over, they shared their space
They hid their unfaithfulness with due haste
They set up the stage, they played their roles
And secrets that night were kept on hold
The whispers had still rung through our ears
Confirming suspicions and my worst fears

It was something we wanted, but couldn't handle,
It was something we wanted, but couldn't handle.

Oh no! Please leave anime alone

Britney Spear's new video, "Break the Ice" is in anime form. Which makes sense because no one wants to see her shake her fat ass on their TVs.



My gosh. The intro is totally ripped off from Ghost in a Shell, and not to mention they're reusing the Toxic video. Still, as animated videos go, this one is pretty neat artwork. I just wish it wasn't so unoriginal and insipid.

Slow Internal Clock

But there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest, where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night.

--Title and Registration

I spent an hour learning how to play this song on the piano, hence my utter exhaustion by the time I get to school. Anyway on a side note, I really hope that I get to cover everything by May.

I wish I could grow up to be a professional hobo. One of my greatest fears (apart from gaining 100kg overnight) is becoming generic. Being weird and offbeat is my homeostasis, and it's gotten me in trouble one too many times. Maybe because growing up with 2 brothers has drilled in my head that safe is boring. Sit at the edge of the jetty. Play in the kitchen. The works.

Before I forget: RIP Pandapple. You will be sorely missed by loved ones. The say that only the good die young, so since your lifespan was give or take a month, you're practically a saint.

Broken Vase - A poem

I have an old jar but it's not really pretty
It's damaged, and its chipped off edges are gritty
I can't really put it on display in my house
'Cos your curiosity is something I don't wanna arouse
Once you cast your eyes on this plain looking thing
The first thing you'd wanna know is where it has been
I'd hem and I'd haw and I'd loosen my collar
When I shamefully admit that it's not worth a dollar.
You see, its previous owner was a callous old fool
Who didn't treasure it as much as he should.
It got baked and discoloured, left out in the sun
The burden of keeping it weighed as much as a ton
So he returned it to me, all weathered and aged
And said to me simply, "You can jolly well keep it."
So now I've got my broken vase back
But it's nothing to be proud of, as a matter of fact.

A Confession

I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots
That my tongue has tied off

My brain's repeating
"If you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Bop ba, this is the sound of settling.

I'm happy for everyone who passed public - only 3 more papers to clear. But I'm really really pissed about somethings.

Firstly, why does ***** have to make everything such a damn competition? It's really annoying when people try to one up each other constantly, and on one occasion it led to the end of one of my friendships. Then again, I know plenty of brilliant people who lack maturity and dare I say, tact. Maybe they don't care. Who knows.

Secondly, I was hoping for a fair fight. It's not fair that some people are marked stricter than others, just because they happened to be liked less. Don't get me wrong; I'm an ardent supporter of nepotism, but only when it comes to opportunities. Personally I would trade my pass for a fail if that meant that everyone was marked on the same standard. It just totally cheapens my grade and I feel shitty even though I met my target of a pass. Like the mock exams was a total farce that was calculated from the start.

I blog about my party some time later. Got a lot of catching up to do.

Of Cabbages and Kings

*Girly ranty post. Reader discretion advised*

I'm pretty sure everyone knows about Andrea Fonseka, the chubby beauty queen turned deal or no deal clone turned lame talent show host turned hopeless channel 5 drama actress.


I got it from my mama! Oh, wait no... I didn't! Psyche!

I don't doubt she's a talented person; plenty of charisma, possible IQ of 160 and enough charm to forge a truckload of amulets.

But there was something she said that really made me scratch my head in confusion:
What matters most to me now is that I've done it the right way - through hard work and perseverance.
-Andrea Fonseka, 2007 (andreafonseka.blogspot.com)

Uh... hard work and perseverance?

First of all, let's turn our attention to another fatty turned top model: Yoanna House.

Miss House was the winner of America's Next Top Model Cycle 2. She was immensely overweight in her teen years and continued to struggle with her size throughout the series. Another contestent on the show, Camille, even accused her of being bullimic.

Despite the odds against her, she slimmed down to a comfortable 60kg (before you do a double take, she's 180 cm tall) by dieting, yoga and pilates. She was an inspiration to me in sec 3 when I watched it and she still is.



Have you ever seen such a strong versatile face in your life? I doubt it.

Coming back to Fonseka. How did she lose weight? Well, after the racuous uproar caused by the Malaysian press about them crowning her Miss Malaysia Universe 2004, Marie France Bodyline gave her a break and signed her up for some consultations. Funny how these programmes never work for everyday girls on the street; all of a sudden its the most effective thing since the wheel for a high profile beauty pageant winner.

Hard work? Excuse me. Hard work is slogging it out 4 hours a day at the gym. Hard work is watching what you eat when you eat. Hard work is dealing with muscle cramps, injuries and pushing your physical limits.

I don't think anyone's definition of "hard work" is getting free lipo from a slimming centre.

Having said that, kudos to the WWE Divas. I think all of them (with the exception of Chyna who retired eons ago) are absolutely gorgeous. Sure some of them have fake boobs, but they have abs that put men to shame.

What I'm trying to say is, if you're gonna sell out, at least have the nerve to be open about it. Don't sugar coat it with cliches about how hard work pays off and all that. We've heard it all before.

On a side note, it's also somewhat irresponsible to tell people that losing weight is possible, yadda yadda. While I think everyone ought to be fit and healthy, I don't think everyone should be skinny. Of course thinness is aesthetically pleasing to most people (including myself), but it's just plain gnarly to keep telling yourself that if you tried really, really hard, you could be the next Kate Moss or Giselle or whatever. It's like a Proton desperately wishing to be a Porshe -- no matter how hard it tries, it will always be a Proton. Models and generally people on screen are blessed with the genetic jackpot. They have high cheekbones, symmetrical faces, and that includes being shapely in all the right places. In this sense, the media does portray a reality different from the one we're living in.

So yes: love yourself, because no one else will do it for you.

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech, but they're closing the bar and they want us to leave.

Last night I went to timbre and crazy with the usual bunch. Yummy yummy thin crust pizza! I must find the recipe and never have to order it again (kinda how i never have to buy cookies in my life ever).

Anyway the stupid band was such an audience whore. "And here is our next song - a song that's played a dozen times a day over the radio and now you have to listen to our crappy rendition!" Seriously. And ditch the stupid DJ talk. It makes you look and sound like a damn pussy. Who knows; maybe if we stuck around they might have started playing the Reason by Hoobastank or some other totally overrated and overplayed song, just like the last 5 we heard before we left.

After that the drunkards went to boat quay and terrorised a few innocent NUS students (including me). Come on, they should know the dangers of venturing out so late at night. Thanks to Schenelle, we walked from there to the Esplanade because we were under the impression that it was actually possible to get cabs from the Padang.

Fun, fun way to spend time after idiotic mocks.

Weirdness

I'm starting to dream about Ellen Page. I love her as Juno McGuff and Shadowcat, but please stay the hell out of my head during down time.

Photoshop: DCFC inspired.

First of many.